Josh's Weekly Insights - March 4, 2026

“When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.”

-Henri Nouwen

In class today, we talked about the power of empathy. One suggestion I had for the group was to avoid the phrase “I understand” because that can ring hollow to the other person even if you say it with the best intent. This phrase tends to diminish or minimize their suffering.

If you truly want to make a difference, be more honest. Say the phrase, “I don’t understand what you are going through right now, but I want you to know that I care about you. May I give you a hug?” This says that you respect and love them without attempting to compare the depths of your previous hurt with their current pain. 

This is so powerful when someone is facing darkness in their life. It lets them know that you are there if they want to share but also there if they just need a place to exist in silence or a place to rage at the unfairness that is part of life. By doing that, you are showing that you truly care about them and will serve in the capacity they need at that time.

Empathy is not about comparing suffering but seeing the human who is hurting across from you. And when I say “seeing”, I mean not just acknowledging that they are in front of you but recognizing their existence through connection and compassion. Doing this can be a superpower and people will be drawn to your leadership example.

So, this week, I encourage you to put more empathy out into the world. And please, do so while avoiding the phrase “I understand.”

Now get out there and crush your week!

A huge shout out to the amazing bankers I worked with over the last two days for the engagement and thoughtful discussion! You guys rock!